The Sphere Of Acceptance

On the fringes of the ostracized circle, where people’s merciless gazes are the scorching, penetrating lashes of the sun, she tiptoes into the polka dots of shades. Ah, but the shades are none other than the swooping shadows of the vultures above. Hovering close, eyes leering, beaks clicking with mirth, thrilled at the look of confusion and shame on her. Dare not she rest her weary eyes. Dare not she find comfort in the unintentional breeze flapping out of their wings. The old birds are here to feast on her misery, to cackle at her misfortune, to meticulously pick apart pieces of fleshy gossip and rumor, and relish them down with the satisfaction of being on the safe side of the circle. The legal, accepted, side.

All it takes for her is a meaningless little step, a mere hop, to get into the sphere of legal acceptance. An entry given as a reluctant compromise for having eventually conformed to their rules. But the gap between that hop is wider than eternity. The vital difference between disdain and approval, between treating her like a person and a smelly mouse. Yet,  having come from that mid-line, of being neither here nor there, she loses her worth, the esteemed merit of joining the niche. She can step into the circle, but should remain at a safe distance from the crowd. The past hangs over her like the dead albatross on the mariner’s neck. A constant, heavy reminder that she is inexcusably different, ineligible to fit in.

Then, the boundaries cease to make a difference. She wouldn’t have fit in the disapproved circle, neither did she find her place tip-toeing on its edges, nor will she snugly attach to the elite circle of legal and social acceptance.

Does it matter then, where she stands, or is pushed to stand? Why fuss over those arbitrary lines? Who defined them? What reasoning went behind those sharp, cruel distinctions? I thus try to distill her muddy thoughts, to filter the sludge of feelings choking her.

Thank those hands that try to pull you into the circle. Accept gracefully that their forces can’t hope to overpower the forces of repulsion. Seek your little radius to root yourself. Remember to always travel with yourself, lean on yourself, for you are the only one that matters. You are the only one who can be your best companion.

Evolved Promises

The Senator was surprised to see Drew, his friend from college, enter his office at so late an hour. His surprise turned to confusion when he saw Drew holding a gun. "I've come to kill you", said Drew. The senator was aghast. "Well, don't you remember. You told me several times that if you ever vote Republican, then you should be shot! Now you're a Republican Senator, so I must fulfill my promise, carry out your instruction and shoot you." "Are you out of your mind? I said that as a figure of speech twenty years ago!", cried the Senator. "Well, it was no casual remark. Here I have proof of your writing and signature, authorizing me to kill you if you turned Republican. It was also witnessed by several of our friends. Don't tell me not to take this contract seriously. If so, living wills will be meaningless. And the issues surrounding euthanasia will be made more complicated if the decision made by terminally ill patients prior to their vegetative state, cannot be executed. A contract such as this has to be binding!" (Original Source: "The Pig That Wants to be Eaten", by Julian Baggini)

Perhaps an example of following the letter of the law, instead of its spirit. But what cranked my circuit was Drew's argument pertaining to other contracts such as wills and those made by terminally ill patients. All of us progressively change or evolve with every passing year and with life's experiences. Does it then make sense for us to commit to something and make a decision for our future-selves who may probably disagree with our past judgments? Are we being unrealistic to expect people not to change their thoughts/decisions? Being aware of this dilemma, is it reasonable to provide some leeway to wriggle out of the contract, without incurring consequences such as what the Senator faces? I'm sure warning bells are ringing all over the place with such a suggestion; those with commitment related fears, and charlatans will have a ball.... there would now be a universal rule excusing betrayal. And the worst part is, every decision and promise will become evanescent if we can't hold anybody's words down to anything concrete, thus destroying the very meaning of trust and promise.

If the prospect of disrespecting contracts/promises is so unpalatable, why shouldn't the Senator be killed in this scenario? I think it all adds up to the implications of the contract. Contracts such as mortgage payments or even marriages involve at least two people being tightly wound in the ramifications of the decision. Backing out of such contracts negatively affects those with whom the contract was drawn. But in this case, the Senator's decision is personal and Drew's breach of "promise" by sparing his life, doesn't adversely affect anybody, and in fact only saves a life. Changing one's political view can probably be argued as being not so innocuous, for it can adversely affect society in the long term due to the kinds of decisions a Senator can take. But in this particular context, there are surely no such severe indications.

What about euthanasia? Can a person's decision to be taken off the ventilator if at all he goes into coma be taken seriously at a later point in the patient's condition, for this decision also involves the patient's family and friends. I think it is reasonable to make a decision for the future when we are sure that our future-self will not have adequate cognitive capacity to make an informed decision at that point. And I think it's fair to respect such a decision, however early it was made relative to the patient's condition.

Speculations on Corruption

I've been diligently keeping up with the everyday marathon, but my ideas are frozen; frozen from the impending deadline making my soul churn with guilt as I race through ideas. So I succumb and decide to recycle yet another writing and will leave the blog-world at peace for a while.

This was yet another idealistic speculation on why people tend to be insincere, immoral -- well, corrupt. At an age when I could only comfortably crib about the career path I'd been flung into, I scribbled something down. Again, idealism at it's hilt.

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From March 2005

Being corrupt is commonly defined as being dishonest, insincere, immoral, rotten or spoiling something. It cant just be yet another common attribute of man because its his tendency to be dishonest and insincere. No, that’s not true. Why then are there "corrupt" people?


Here's my theory:
We always give our best to something we love doing. A sense of commitment, responsibility, accountability and sincerity come with it. If a person loves his job, he enjoys working on it, respects it and is willing to face the hardships it might offer. Most of us in India, stick to a job mainly for survival. It pays money. I need to feed my family. There is no personal and wholesome commitment offered. When you don’t even like your job, don’t recognize its significance, and just orient yourself towards money, insincerity grows.


Apparently India has moved to a stage where all bright boys and girls aspire either for engineering or medicine. The ‘unfortunate half baked’ ones are doomed for other courses. But they’ll be pushed all their life to join the stream taken by the ‘elite cream’. If every one is herded to work as engineers, what happens to the quality of that profession?


The real potentials of an individual are never analyzed. Its true that some courses are difficult to take. It's not easy to reach all the comforts and luxuries that the common path provides. But it’s the amount of enthusiasm, talent, courage and passion you have for it, that takes you to heights. Dignity of labor must be realized.


But most people here are driven to take up a job, just for sustenance. How can they give in their hundred percent? The trodden path is always considered the safest. An ethically conscious man strives to do his best, no matter what job he does. But if a man with a great talent for music is put in a bank, he cant contribute his best. Its not enough that he’s just ethically refined. The working of any system depends on the aptitude of each and every one of its components.


Maslow’s hierarchy can be used here. The needs of man are put into a hierarchy starting with


· Physiological needs---- basic food, water, clothes, shelter.


If a man’s needs are confined to this level, then he looks only for money. The more the better. If he cant afford more, then he finds a way out; even if illegal/immoral. Its not greed, its merely pressure and desperation. He needs to survive and live on.


· Security and safety needs


At this level, sustaining his job is of the greatest importance. How he clings onto it and scrapes his way up to make it permanent and completely secure, is all that he’s concerned about.


· Affiliation, or acceptance needs


Only a man with a job is respected in the society. A man who brings home more money, is loved more by his wife, children, parents, and friends. The man who can afford to send his kids to the best school in the neighborhood, gets an implicit respect. Neighbors ‘accept’ him as their friend. So at this level again, his needs are restricted to how well and how much he is ‘accepted’ and liked by his society, and he feels "justified" to do anything to get there.


· Esteem needs


‘Power’ is a magic word. It commands respect and authority. A man with power, rules. A politician’s main need is to reach for that. The economic status of a man gives him power over the ones below him. Therefore at this stage, his need is to command, rule and be respected.


· Self Actualization


At this stage man has a desire to become what he is capable of becoming—to maximize one’s potentials and to accomplish something which will appease his inner-self.


Most of man's needs are misplaced. Unless man reaches or realizes the stage of self actualization, his needs justify and reflect the insincerity and dishonesty in any work he does. If a politician enters into the field to gain power and not to accomplish anything significant, his activities will only border around how to achieve his need. His means justify his ends and corruption bloats. He has no love, dedication, sincerity in his work. The system slackens and corruption grows.


The quality of any profession is dependent on the people involved in it. Love and commitment towards work, if developed, increases the efficiency of the overall system. I think it would reduce insincerity to a large extent. Of course common tendencies of greed will be present. But if the judiciary had people who loved to do their jobs properly... things will be under control.


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Interesting theory. Now, I only partly agree. Lack of quality cannot be always equated to lack of moral values. This might hold true of general growth and development of a county. But I think it's Utopian to argue that people will continue to be insincere and corrupt unless they look beyond basic needs and search into their soul for their meaning and purpose in life. Basic needs of survival will never leave, and there are very few who can survive without nothing but by being in harmony with their inner-self.

On Education Reforms

Life has suddenly gotten busy and nerve wracking, thanks to the semester winding down and all the scores of deadlines staring at me in the face with an evil laugh that I'm behind most. Friday afternoons lend themselves well to a beautiful nap, especially when the weather chooses to be good. So in order to get myself a short break I thought I'd post something. But since I can't spend time writing one, I thought why not recycle my old writings that I recently uncovered :).


Since in the previous post on Capital Punishments, we touched upon the subject of education as a primary means of reformation, I'm pasting my thoughts on education reforms in India.


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From December 2004


The fundamental framework and thinking of people all over India still remains stringent. Lets think on the following
1. why are there still Indian software engineers(and the like), working abroad, who still demand or never question dowry? These people take it as yet another fact of life--I’m a guy earning well in a country away from my homeland. I’m just worth so much of dowry.
2. why is the birth of a second girl child into a family(no no I’m not talking abt the so called lower or down trodden section. I’m talking abt the so called upper middle class), bring about the reply----“Ah, it would have been better otherwise. Hmm...you better start saving up dear fellow.”
3. why do eyebrows raise when you demand to get into a profession other than medicine/ engineering?
4. why do comfortable commuters in a train, flinch with disgust on seeing a haggard man/woman/child(a fellow being of their nation), begging for money and food?
5. finally………the cream of it!
Why is it that 75% of final year engineering students never know how to fix a simple failed brake, a leaking faucet, a dimming monitor, change a fuse, fix a fan, when all through four rigorous years they were taught and made to pass far more complex stuff.
Now all these above said people are educated…well-educated as a matter of fact(hey engineering is no joke :-)). So how exactly has education served its purpose? An educated mind is supposed to cross the petty fences laid out by society to think beyond the horizons to implement positive reformations. It is to cull out the old and rusted principles and customs and to replace them with bright polished ones. A broader perspective, an open mind amicable to changes and suggestions……well I could go on.


‘Educating’ the masses alone isn’t enough. The real sense of that word is long buried deep. It is imperative to infuse ethics with learning. Our system of education has to evolve into a more healthier version where
· morals and ethics are not rhetorically told to be mugged up and reproduced
· the teacher is no monster near the black board and the students are no subjects. A more impersonal atmosphere encourages learning and more interaction.
· Corporal punishments, such as caning, beating, kneeling, verbal abuse, etc need to stop.
· Textbooks should not be encouraged as sole bibles without knowing whose every line and verse, the student is made to dread a mortal fear of ‘failing’.
· There’s freedom to explore and learn on a higher plane. There’s no stifling of potentials because of societal norms
· Its not mere numbers that determine a person’s ‘success’ in life, but it is the wholesome knowledge and personality gained out of schooling.


All these are easier said than done. But what I’m driving at is, the art of imparting education has lost its true sense. People are neither taught to gain knowledge, nor to survive. Its all on a short term basis--- how to get good marks in this particular test/semester, how to get into those companies, how to improve the pass percentage of the school. The aim has become shallow and fails to look beyond the present.


If we want our future generations to carry on with our struggle, we need to pass on the torch to people who truly understand the crux of our problems with an astute mind driving towards progress in its wholesome sense. These qualities need to be inculcated in the young. As they grow, schools have the responsibility of pruning their tangential characteristics and fine tuning their latent talents. All these cant be accomplished with a cane in hand and a rigid inflexible mindless rigmarole of memorizing and spitting out Newtonian theories.


One thing I glaringly find missing is---the dignity of labor. I still remember a documentary on the discovery channel that was a three hour session wholly dedicated to the study of sea-weeds. I really admired the professionalism and seriousness with which any topic or study is handled without being discarded as useless. Anything started on, is delved into its core and deepest trench and depths. I’m not advocating the study of weeds. But its that kind of passion and enthusiasm for learning and experimentation that needs to be developed. In simple words--teach the brain to think, appreciate the mind to explore, make mistakes and learn, while holding stiff the reins of discipline.


The Chinese saying--“teach a man to fish”, speaks well. It can be extended to teach a man to hunt. I say why restrict with fishing? What if the river dries up? It is essential he knows to explore his surroundings to survive.


Once there are bright ‘educated’ minds out to strive for the nation, social evils would diminish and erode away, as every generation passes, leaving behind healthier and more wise remnants(or shall we say leaders), who would flourish the nation with progress.
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After a little more than 4 years, I still would hope for such reforms in Education. How exactly, and what tangible steps to take, I don't know. This requires a change in attitude, scratching the syllabus and starting from scratch. Some schools have started exploring such things, but today, with engineering colleges still mushrooming in every street corner, and job opportunities getting more stringent, I'm sure it will take a good 2-3 decades before we can expect changes.

On Capital Punishments - Old and New

I had a lot to say on Capital Punishments, and now I'm parched to say anything more. Below is my argument against capital punishments, when I was all of 20 years old. I shamelessly showcase my weak arguments that carry an air of amateurish faith in humanity. I had no concept of brevity, so excuse my rambling and silly analogies. I didn't want to edit and tarnish my pitiable innocence/stupidity.

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My thoughts as they were in May 2004

Its very true that practically speaking, we have no time on our hands to actually sit down and have a diplomatic talk over a cup of tea and try to sort things over with terrorists; because when we’re busy talking, a minimum of 200 new problems seem to crop up. With terrorism and ruthless violence at their hilt, we have no patience to talk about reforming people. I mean its hard enough to make someone close to you, understand your viewpoint, how the heck is a hard core criminal going to be reformed by you?? So I guess all that justifies us to play God and arrange for these people to be shipped to what we call as hell.


Consider this analogy. At 5, when you loved to doodle on the walls (well, I used to), and your mom wagged her rolling pin at you, and said “next time I see you scribble you’re going to be spanked like crazy!”, did you stop doodling or whatever sin you were prohibited from doing?? Well, I found a way though…I started doodling at the back of our bed, the side of the fridge not visible to my mom, and on the last page of my dad’s files. It wasn’t until packing day that my parents realized that they had a sly imp living with them! One of my friends always says that he invariably makes it a point to execute that deed that he’s begged to not do. Tell a child not to put down that glass vase cos it will break and give him a dire threat, and you’ll at once see a twinkle in his eyes and he’ll make sure that it shatters into a million dazzling pieces in front of your horrified face. Well the child is not evil, he just loves the pleasure of seeing something created……he cant create a glass vase at 3 (he realizes that), but he can always create a mess; a million sparkling pieces of glass is according to him a new creation or ‘evolution’ of that drab vase, which his mom used to love, when he was supposed to be the only one there to be loved. How many of u guys have been obedient sons in listening to your dad in coming home early? Although the punishment is severe you’ve always found a way out to smuggle into the house and out of the house, thanks to darling mama’s help.


My point is, do corporal and brutal punishments serve their purpose of getting the ethics into our head? Copying during exams is considered a major ‘crime’, and severe punishments are meted out. But then why do I still find the guy sitting next to me, turn a complete 180 degrees to mime out the answer to his friend, when the invigilator turns her back? If bits are out, a new style comes in; make noises with ur bootstrap…the number of times the velcro is stripped out indicates the question no., a small dull ripping sound, indicates “sorry buddy have no clue.”, a nice enthusiastic rip, kinda like a roar means “yup! I know that……”, and several more that I couldn’t spare time to gauge.


I know what u’re thinking...doodling or breaking a vase isn’t a crime. We’re dealing with hard core rapists and murderers. All the same we are dealing with people whose minds work just as bizarre…only differing in magnitude. America seems to be Laden’s glass vase that’s all. Its weird to be wagging a lethal injection, or swinging a threatening sword to warn people from indulging in what the ‘society’ calls as a crime. In one culture, it’s a moral privilege for a man to have more than 1 wife, yet in other cultures it’s a mortal sin. In Saudi, a dad has the right to execute his daughter or cut off her arm, if the tip of her hand is accidentally shown. So what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’?? We are humans...not animals to be exterminated when considered pests.


Every time a brutal punishment is meted out to us, God knows how we cringe and crib inside with the injustice of it all, the atrocity and the humiliation that we swear passionately to make the scores even...but if u’re dead, u don’t have a chance. So now that’s the whole point isn’t it? remember the time u got spanked and humiliated...can u remember feeling that hate, anger, bitter resentment(at being caught……) and most of all that feeling of being so helpless in the midst of savage people who know nothing abt fair play. From the time we got our first black mark for coming late to school to this day when our internals zoom down, we never seem to realize where we’re going wrong. Have these punishments served their purpose? Its always considered the height of cruelty and injustice when u’re suspended from college for punching another guy’s nose to a pulp, because the child inside u is whining, "u don’t know the whole story, u don’t know who started the fight, u don’t know why I hit him, u don’t know he hit me first, u don’t know that he provoked me, u don’t know that I’m not a heartless guy to rip another fellow’s nose…!”. There u go u have a reason, and u didn’t do it in the heat of the moment, and had actually planned and called for a fight at the back alleys to settle things out -man-to-man.


If we can get so passionate and if we can so virulently support our cause, over a simple college fight, why cant we extrapolate this to more serious matters and more passionate people. I’m in no way trying to justify crimes……not at all. Ask yourself whether u’ve ever felt justified at being punished, brutally. When did u finally realize that its wrong to hurt people physically?


a) when your mom had a heart-to-heart talk with u
b) when your dad yelled his head off abusing u unfairly
c) when your teacher caned u with that mean stick


Conclusion:


I understand that things have gone far out of our reach to actually mend in a more rational way. I know capital punishment in India is not meted out with a snap of one’s fingers, thanks to our judiciary. I realize that it does solve the purpose of curbing a country’s crime rate, but our Vedas state “Saama…Dhaana…bedha…dandam”, escalating towards brutal punishments as a final resort. The essence of punishments always is towards reformation of the individual, and not to seek out revenge or to brutally afflict physical pain that is only going to madly fuel his already insane passion and anger. I’m therefore strictly against mutilation. With capital punishment, a rapist or a hard core terrorist dies with the helpless thought that he cant get even with this cruel world, not a whit of remorse for having killed any innocent person, as a matter of fact he would love to stab his executor…if only he wasn't tied up.


Sadly, that is the plight of our present crisis; no time to reform, no time to realize abt ethics of punishments. So call out those docs and let them poke out as many terrorists as they can snare. God knows that the doc is no paragon of virtues himself, but aint he clever enough to not get caught?? That’s all that matters. Sorry if I’m sardonic, but my heart can never accept the concept of a fellow human being killed, in the name of punishment. It can be argued as the need of the moment, but call it termination, please do not word it as a ‘punishment’. Punishments must have a post-period…a period of realization.


Punishment is to make a man realize his deeds and it thus hopes to reform him. If we are too busy for all that, terminate him…but don’t call it punishment, for the man no longer lives to realize that.
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And now, 5 years later - "America seems to be Laden's glass vase", whatever did I mean by that?! That's such a hilarious statement. The essay above had little to do with capital punishments and more to do with the topic of "corporal punishments - their ethics", or "reforming kids in school". Or maybe not even that. Notice how I've eluded from giving a solution - I've argued against brutal punishments, but offered no solution except "reformation "- just by showing compassion and treating terrorists through counseling or psychotherapy. I seriously thought it would be that easy to reform criminals? I compare college kids to criminals and argue they are same in principle and a little different in magnitude... religious fundamentalists versus silly teenagers?!! Thank god I rambled in an electronic media unaware of all the sneering and swearing and rotten vegetables spewed on me.


I no longer can find enough energy or words to argue or say anything on capital punishments. With my throat and mind resembling a parched well, I can't even find enough words, or reason to make a loved one merely glimpse at my side of the coin. Reformation of hardened fundamentalists by banking on implicit human goodness? Not going to happen. Long term solutions - plenty to speculate, but not enough fire to voice them. I resign to change the term to "termination" and make peace with it (ah, the oxymoron and irony). Either they live and wreak havoc for us, or they die and we are guilty of not resorting to more "humane" forms of reformation for their inhuman heinous crimes.

The Old and the New

I was clearing and organizing my email yesterday, and I dug out quite a few memories and thoughts that were tucked away in the safe crevices of chaotic electronic folders. Suffice to say that I spent the rest of the evening drunk on nostalgia. I was a little rattled that I couldn't identify with my own writings, my own thoughts and well, the person I was 5-6 years back. It was less than a decade ago and yet there has been a surprising leap of time, thoughts, and views. If it weren't for the convincing evidence that all the emails were signed off by me and had emanated from my email address, I would have probably not been convinced as much that I was indeed the author (I still hold a 1% chance that my account was hacked!).


In college, under the auspices of a revolutionary go-getter, a group of rebellious , opinionated (or so we called) and enthusiastic people formed a yahoo group to debate on a variety of topics. The members of the group grew from young college students to include a huge gamut of members with different backgrounds, education and views. Posts were fired regularly. I wrote with passion, my arguments fueled with optimism and conviction. My thoughts reflected my utter naivete and belief that there was a tangible solution to every issue the world was plagued with. It was quite amusing and entertaining to hear me debate as if I knew everything there was to know :)


And now, I look back and pity the young girl, shrouded with idealism and insane optimism. Now reality has eroded most of that pristine optimism. Thoughts have evolved and I see myself shaking my head at the very words I penned with such unshakable conviction. Still in the "prime of my youth" I seem to have lost most of the fire in me. Is it just a natural part of growing up, or am I growing too old, too fast?


Since this blog is turning out to be a collection of all my thoughts, I thought I would include some of my "old thoughts" in here, and have a fun time arguing with myself :). It will be all the more interesting, when in the year of 2019, if my blog and I are still around, I could read my thoughts from 2004-2009 and introspect on how much more I had "evolved" :). Hopefully I'll reach a point in my life when I'll stop contradicting and arguing with myself.