Reflections: The Diary of Anne Frank

I had a slim opportunity to visit Amsterdam recently. Just the mention of the syllables that make "Amsterdam" bring to mind two dominant memories - one is a fleeting visit with my parents when I was barely old enough to register more sophisticated memories than feelings of "cold" and "new", and the other is of course, Anne Frank. Anne Frank was in my thoughts almost all the time, so I decided to reread her poignant diary. I was mildly interested to know if the diary read differently to me, now that I am much more older than I first read it. But surprisingly, I could relate to it much more this time.

There are no words to describe the mix of emotions I went through while reading the diary as it slowly progressed and matured. The ramblings and rantings in my own journal have the same quality of alternating despair and enthusiasm as hers, except Anne matured and grew up so very beautifully and wisely, and her writings have such heart-breaking insights that the words twist my heart every time I read them. Her experiences highlight, yet again, the stark extremes of humanity - touching kindness and ruthless cruelty; petty materialism and progressive open-mindedness; steely determination and fragile will-power.  Anne's witty and clever observations keep ringing in my head. I believe that it was her undying hope and positivity that eventually brought a sliver of her dreams to fruition. Her determination to be a successful writer who would be fondly remembered, has indeed come true.

How wise was she to have written such touchingly beautiful thoughts at an age when my diary was filled with narcissistic angst -

"At such moments I don't think about all the misery, but about the beauty that still remains. This is where Mother and I differ greatly. Her advice in the face of melancholy is: "Think about all the suffering in the world and be thankful you're not part of it." My advice is: "Go outside, to the country, enjoy the sun and all nature has to offer. Go outside and try to recapture the happiness within yourself; think of all the beauty in yourself and in everything around you and be happy."
 

"I don't think Mother's advice can be right, because what are you supposed to do if you become part of the suffering? You'd be completely lost. On the contrary, beauty remains, even in misfortune. If you just look for it, you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance. A person who's happy will make others happy; a person who has courage and faith will never die in misery!"

One can only hope that her bright and positive attitude helped her get through her harrowing times at the concentration camp. It's a good lesson and reminder to stay happy and discover beauty at all times.

If you haven't read her diary, I would urge you to read it. Yes, it's sad and tragic, but also immeasurably inspiring and touching.

Positivity

I realized something about Positivity recently and wanted to record the thought.

I have seen myself as a realist in the recent years. To me, “mindless” positive thinking is also one way of seeping into denial and living in a fantasy world of idealism. I used to be a naive idealist who considered everything about life to be positive and “good”. I believed everybody’s life was a fairy-tale waiting to happen.  And that attitude bit me. So, I took the stance that “negativity” was just our psyche’s way of cushioning us from fear, rejection, failure, heartbreak, and betrayal. In decent measures, thoughts on how things might go wrong bring us to an equilibrium of realism and pragmatism, and equip us to be better prepared - in tune with reality. So, really, negativity is actually of some “use”.

Those who harp on endlessly about the power of positive thinking have irked me a bit. I often find their statements shallow, their words substance-less and unnecessarily bombastic, and their thoughts to be comforting in a way that panders to our helplessness. I never understood the “rationality” of being positive when one knows the inevitability of things. Isn’t it a disillusionment to escape into such a space of fantasy?

Last week, I met someone who had a positive outlook towards life despite the unchanging nature of her life. She seemed to make me understand something vital. Her husband battles cancer, son is stricken by a debilitating disease that slowly regresses his body. Nothing can be changed. There are no magic drugs. Contrary to my assumption that positive outlook meant holding onto the positive faith that things will change, and that faith will eventually restore everything one has lost and will lose, she had no such illusions. Her positive outlook was in the way she dealt with everything as they were. She dealt with reality as if everything was fate’s funny game and she was asked to laugh at it all. And she does. She laughs a lot, has much love to share among people, friends, cats, dogs, squirrels, birds, and plants. To be able to thrive with so much love, to be able to get past the terrible hurt that love brings with it, and to be able to summon more and more love, kindness and happiness despite the bitterness of reality - that is Positivity.

Positive that life is hard; Positive that life is unfair; Positive that life brings sorrow; But, positive that life is meant to be still lived with laughter and love.

There is acceptance, there is realism. But there is not a trace of fear that beckons negativity. Nor is there desperate faith or disillusionment that things will change.

This was new to me. Something clicked inside that empty head of mine, and now I see what Positivity is. It is courage, acceptance, and the ability to love and live life fully with the limited and random cards we are dealt with.

This attitude spills into everything we do, every thought that passes, every behavior and mannerism we acquire, and makes us a better person - a person who can handle life with grace and peace.