I realized something about Positivity recently and wanted to record the thought.
I have seen myself as a realist in the recent years. To me, “mindless” positive thinking is also one way of seeping into denial and living in a fantasy world of idealism. I used to be a naive idealist who considered everything about life to be positive and “good”. I believed everybody’s life was a fairy-tale waiting to happen. And that attitude bit me. So, I took the stance that “negativity” was just our psyche’s way of cushioning us from fear, rejection, failure, heartbreak, and betrayal. In decent measures, thoughts on how things might go wrong bring us to an equilibrium of realism and pragmatism, and equip us to be better prepared - in tune with reality. So, really, negativity is actually of some “use”.
Those who harp on endlessly about the power of positive thinking have irked me a bit. I often find their statements shallow, their words substance-less and unnecessarily bombastic, and their thoughts to be comforting in a way that panders to our helplessness. I never understood the “rationality” of being positive when one knows the inevitability of things. Isn’t it a disillusionment to escape into such a space of fantasy?
Last week, I met someone who had a positive outlook towards life despite the unchanging nature of her life. She seemed to make me understand something vital. Her husband battles cancer, son is stricken by a debilitating disease that slowly regresses his body. Nothing can be changed. There are no magic drugs. Contrary to my assumption that positive outlook meant holding onto the positive faith that things will change, and that faith will eventually restore everything one has lost and will lose, she had no such illusions. Her positive outlook was in the way she dealt with everything as they were. She dealt with reality as if everything was fate’s funny game and she was asked to laugh at it all. And she does. She laughs a lot, has much love to share among people, friends, cats, dogs, squirrels, birds, and plants. To be able to thrive with so much love, to be able to get past the terrible hurt that love brings with it, and to be able to summon more and more love, kindness and happiness despite the bitterness of reality - that is Positivity.
Positive that life is hard; Positive that life is unfair; Positive that life brings sorrow; But, positive that life is meant to be still lived with laughter and love.
There is acceptance, there is realism. But there is not a trace of fear that beckons negativity. Nor is there desperate faith or disillusionment that things will change.
This was new to me. Something clicked inside that empty head of mine, and now I see what Positivity is. It is courage, acceptance, and the ability to love and live life fully with the limited and random cards we are dealt with.
This attitude spills into everything we do, every thought that passes, every behavior and mannerism we acquire, and makes us a better person - a person who can handle life with grace and peace.
I have seen myself as a realist in the recent years. To me, “mindless” positive thinking is also one way of seeping into denial and living in a fantasy world of idealism. I used to be a naive idealist who considered everything about life to be positive and “good”. I believed everybody’s life was a fairy-tale waiting to happen. And that attitude bit me. So, I took the stance that “negativity” was just our psyche’s way of cushioning us from fear, rejection, failure, heartbreak, and betrayal. In decent measures, thoughts on how things might go wrong bring us to an equilibrium of realism and pragmatism, and equip us to be better prepared - in tune with reality. So, really, negativity is actually of some “use”.
Those who harp on endlessly about the power of positive thinking have irked me a bit. I often find their statements shallow, their words substance-less and unnecessarily bombastic, and their thoughts to be comforting in a way that panders to our helplessness. I never understood the “rationality” of being positive when one knows the inevitability of things. Isn’t it a disillusionment to escape into such a space of fantasy?
Last week, I met someone who had a positive outlook towards life despite the unchanging nature of her life. She seemed to make me understand something vital. Her husband battles cancer, son is stricken by a debilitating disease that slowly regresses his body. Nothing can be changed. There are no magic drugs. Contrary to my assumption that positive outlook meant holding onto the positive faith that things will change, and that faith will eventually restore everything one has lost and will lose, she had no such illusions. Her positive outlook was in the way she dealt with everything as they were. She dealt with reality as if everything was fate’s funny game and she was asked to laugh at it all. And she does. She laughs a lot, has much love to share among people, friends, cats, dogs, squirrels, birds, and plants. To be able to thrive with so much love, to be able to get past the terrible hurt that love brings with it, and to be able to summon more and more love, kindness and happiness despite the bitterness of reality - that is Positivity.
Positive that life is hard; Positive that life is unfair; Positive that life brings sorrow; But, positive that life is meant to be still lived with laughter and love.
There is acceptance, there is realism. But there is not a trace of fear that beckons negativity. Nor is there desperate faith or disillusionment that things will change.
This was new to me. Something clicked inside that empty head of mine, and now I see what Positivity is. It is courage, acceptance, and the ability to love and live life fully with the limited and random cards we are dealt with.
This attitude spills into everything we do, every thought that passes, every behavior and mannerism we acquire, and makes us a better person - a person who can handle life with grace and peace.
