Saturday, January 31, 2009

I Don't Want to Say Goodbye

Our relationship is something really special. Three and a half years is by no means a trivial length of time. And to think everything might spiral down soon, pains me deep. But you're slipping away from me.... you seem to have no other choice. But I want to try harder, try to salvage this precious bond between us as long as I can. I hope against hope that you don't leave me...forever.


I dread the day when I'd walk towards you in the morning and lovingly try to wake you up and you'd refuse to come aglow with your usual cheerful self. What will I do without you? How will I carry on after such a loss? Who will be with me through every phase of my day, helping me learn, helping me work, helping me smile? I've confided to you things no one in the world knows. You've been a part of almost every travel, every little journey. Never have you once complained or made a fuss... you were with me all those days when the rain lashed, the wind howled as the snow crumpled, and the sun angrily shone; holding my shoulders affectionately, never complaining that the umbrella didn't cover you enough...will I ever find such a companion? Without you who would have regaled me endlessly, and patiently listened to every word I had to share when I had noone around me those dreadful weekends? Now you claim our relationship is too old to last any longer.


I try to prepare myself, but it's too hard. You cannot be replaced... no part of you can be replaced. You are priceless. You know I will go to any lengths to nurse you back. As I cradle you everyday trying to ease your pain, I mutter silent prayers refuting the thought that you maybe at your deathbed. Everyone around me says so.... they say your time has come and I should be brave. Some advise that I need to move on and find.... your replacement. Ah, how those words wrench my heart. How can I think of looking at someone new?! Your dark and handsome face, the heat of your body, your sturdy yet delicate features, your silly little whines, the way you chatter and giggle as I touch you.... oh will my fingers ever feel the same warmth and comfort as caressing your features? So many memories... words cannot describe all the moments we've shared. You know it will never be the same.


They say you need a surgery, an expensive one at that... but they say you may never make it for it's far too much of an organ replacement. I'm torn...do I risk seeing you being torn apart, only to realize you may never see me again with that familiar glint? Or do I save you the surgery and try to nurse you tender as long as you care to stay with me? But then you can't come out with me everyday my dearest... you need to rest and sleep. Our conversations and interactions will dwindle, but you will still be with me. But I may have to move on... find another companion. Oh what terrible crossroads has fate set me on, my darling Thinkpad!
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My thinkpad's monitor is dying :(... It just gets dimmer and dimmer and I fiddle around with the standby button and with some magical combination it springs to life. The backlight and inverter seem to be the culprit but IBM doesn't sell those parts :(... A monitor replacement of $500 is recommended, although the chances of it being set right doesn't seem all that high. Some say this is a phase because of the terrible winter temperature messing with some internal springs causing loose connection (This is my first time within US that I have the privilege to stay in such a frigid place). Maybe its time for a new laptop...any other ideas to salvage my laptop? Help :(

8 comments:

SecondSight said...

That is weird... I know nothing about computers obviously, but the Buffalo winter blues are usually easily resolved with hot chocolate/ Irish coffee, and a thermal blanket- Not sure which one you want to try on your thinkpad though !:)

SUMI said...

Sorry to hear that! :-)

I assume you're sure it's the display that's screwed up and the machine powers on fine etc..

What you could do is connect the laptop to an external monitor to see if you have the same problem. If you have the same problem, the problem is perhaps in the gfx card (video card) and if not the problem is in the LCD monitor. I was going to suggest connecting it to an external display but also googled up to make sure this wasn't a known issue and this kinda troubleshooting would help. They also gave this additional info of the problem being in the video card (I couldn't be sure it wouldn't be some driver issue).

If you find out that the video card is the culprit you can probably have it replaced. If you want to do it yourself, I found this manual:
http://www-307.ibm.com/pc/support/site.wss/document.do?sitestyle=lenovo&lndocid=PFAN-3TSMGJ

Hope that helps. Good Luck!

Perception said...

Hmmm I compelety associate with your pain. Last evening I returned home and my "dello"(laptop) went through its cheerful startup and then just died on me. I totally paincked. Tried restarting and everything i culd. I couldnt stop thinking of all the stuff that's on it-saved chats, memories, photos, work. Hadn't done a recent backup (and I strongly recommend it)and I couldn't even remember what else precious would die with the death of dello.

Hubby dear came to rescue, some format had screwed up the shell script. He fixed it and dello is back to its cheerful self but I wonder what if some day....

Hope you find a solution for your thinkpad and it recovers, if not maybe you could introduce him/her to a new friend. Thinkpad can then be a mentor transferring its knowledge, experience and ofcourse data :)

oorjas said...

nicely written.. though i knew it was going somewhere but till last i couldn't figure out it was a laptop..

laptops have really become an integral part of our lives.. can't even imagine a day without them..

not a techie so am not of much help here..

oorjas said...

nicely written.. though i knew it was going somewhere but till last i couldn't figure out it was a laptop..

laptops have really become an integral part of our lives.. can't even imagine a day without them..

not a techie so am not of much help here..

Neeraja said...

Second Sight - You know I actually did try tucking him under the comforter while I was away at school to test the temperature theory. But it failed :(

SUMI - So nice of you to have googled and researched for me! Thanks a lot!! :). Unfortunately it is indeed the LCD at fault. I tried hooking to another monitor and it works. The cables running down the system, that connect the inverter and backlight seem to have a problem. I'm trying to research on how easy/feasible fixing cables/inverter would be. Lets see...

Perception - Thanks for empathizing with me...it's nice to know I'm not the only one :). Hope you never ever have to see Dello in such a state. I don't know if Mr. Thinkpad would appreciate another friend... he is quite possessive ;)

Oorja - Thanks :)...yeah computers have become indispensable. Such a dependence is scary sometimes!

GGadre said...

Hey Neeraja: For that matter my Sony has gone for a toss, battery down, most keys on it dont work and that lil one had cost me a 1000 bucks! So I understand the pain! :(

Neeraja said...

GGadre - Thanks for dropping by!:)
I'm sorry about your Sony :(... Looks like I'm not the only one with laptop problems!